With the ladies.

Going to be in a girls group this week at work for essentially the first time. I've had alot of success with boys, but I'm unsure of how my gung ho approach will work with the ladies and if not what will I have up my sleeve to help change these girls lives for the better. "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." Frederick Douglass. I wonder what these kids will look like in ten years from now? Hopefully a little like some girls that I have known.

So how can this be?

Yes, absolutely. Mountain men do not have blogs. So what does that mean for my self professed claim of being a mountain man? Not sure really, but maybe you could tell me. Maybe I could use this as an advice giving platform for those of you who aren't yet equipped with the know how of the mountains and that would allow me to keep my mountain man status. So here is the first tip. Do not go into a mountain setting freshly showered. This will only piss off us true non-showering mountain men and women and we probably be forced to use you as fancy smelling bate in a bear trap. Secondly, as I only have one person following this blog if that at this point that said person will have to leave "his or HERS" hundreds of pairs of shoes at home and not bring them into said "mountains". Why are chia pets so awesome? Imagine if someone had given Hitler a chia pet before the start of WWII. The whole thing may have been averted. I mean who can be pissed off at anything after receiving a gift of a chia pet? Nobody, not even Hitler. And while we're on the subject what happens at absolute zero? Do electrons still move or are they completely still? And if they do move around do they know that I'm good looking? And what is the deal with Hula Hoops anyways? Its a circle that you whip around your body. Is that cool? Think about....hell no it's not cool! And the people doing it always look like dip shits doing it. Tell them next time you see them doing it. And what is poker doing on ESPN? If it was like something out of Deer Hunter I could somewhat understand the fascination. And while we're talking about poker(by we I mean me) I know where the lost city of Atlantis is. That's right, I do. Not you. Which makes me like 1,000 times cooler than you. Where's it at you ask? I'll tell you if....you promise to sleep with me and then forget what I told you. It's really a win-win situation. I get to sleep with you and you forget the valueable info. See win-win. How about Captain Kirk always getting those blue babes from a different planet. Incredible! I want blue skinned babes. What do you like more Twinkies or HoHo's? I prefer HoHo's myself. What happens when a man or woman jumps out of a plane with no parachute on a poops? What will hit the ground first? The person or the poop. Most people would say the person right. Not so fast. Sometimes as we all know poops can coming shooting out of an arse with suprising velocity. That is all the extra boost the poop needs to fall faster. Poop wins everytime. Glad I could teach something. What is the hokey pokey really all about? I think there's something more to it than shaking it all about. If you know something please tell me. Scientists say penguins are birds. Penguins can't fly and birds can. So penguins are not birds. Case closed. Penguins are actually giraffes that swim and look weird. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I watched it not to long ago...not that Excellent sorry. Who doesn't like fried chicken? Communists thats who. If a friend/associate/relative/stranger says they don't eat fried chicken please do the following. 1. Loudly accuse them of being communist. 2. Tell them this is America and we hate Communist swine. 3. Try to have them deported to Siberia where they will feel more at home amongst there Commie friends/associates/relatives/strangers. 4. Eat more fried chicken to show them how un-Communist you are. 5. Call Chuck Norris and report it to him. He keeps tabs on the Communist census. What came first the chicken or the egg? The question that's been haunting mankind for eons. Well, it was the chicken. Question answered move on. Do you like Scrabble? I don't. Unless, I'm playing with dyslexic people then I cheat like a wild man and tell them "How should you know if that's not a word! Your f-ing dyslexic dumbass!" And then spell something ridiculous with 4 z's to score maximum points. Does that make me an a-hole? No, it makes me the Scrabble champion that night and they will get over it eventually. Hopefully. Greatest musician of all time? Tough question. Elvis Presley or Bob Dylan. Maybe. Well, actually I was thinking MC Hammer. Those parachute pants were revolutionary, as well as the dancing. If you disagree I'd love to here about it so I can find out how wrong you are compared to me. And lastly, but not leastly. Puppies that cartwheel down mountainsides! It's incredible! A rare natural phenomenon. For the few of us that have seen it happen it's probably the most important moment of our lives. I mean think about it? A puppy, 3 or 4 weeks old cartwheeling 4,000 feet down a rocky mountainside. I mean where talking 10 to 12,000 cartwheels to make it to the bottom! No one knows why puppies do it, but I have a suspicion. Chicks. That's right, chicks. These puppies are true players and know that other puppy chicks would find it irresistable. Think about. Why do guys do shit like that? Chicks. Case closed on puppy cartwheels on mountainsides.

What Now?

That's the question. I'm not really sure what a blog is, or what it is supposed to contain so here it goes. First off, I could be the sexiest man named Jed that you know. And in fact I'm sure off it. How can I be so sure you ask...well for God's sake look at the picture I posted. Case closed. Secondly, I was born in the year of the horse as my horoscope denotes and horse's are supposed to be great in bed. Is that true in my case? Roll the dice and find out. I'm willing to bet a piece of pie on it and I covet pie. Thirdly, go to the Manliest Montage Ever on You Tube and get a look at Hot Stuff.